The doorbell chimes again, mocking me. Grabbing the half-empty candy bowl, I open the door–

“Huh!” I gasp.

It is HUGE. Its front paws planted on the porch: two golden, fur-covered columns, each thicker than my torso. They hold up the massive lion’s body. I feel the dragon’s tail in the shadows. Giant eagle wings scrape my eaves and blot out the festivities.

Between its teeth, I see the tiny plastic pumpkin bowl. Its cat eyes just stare.

I lock eyes with it for some time.

“Trick,” I decide.

I mean, how often do you get a chance like this?

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