The doorbell chimes again, mocking me. Grabbing the half-empty candy bowl, I open the door–

“Huh!” I gasp.

It is HUGE. Its front paws planted on the porch: two golden, fur-covered columns, each thicker than my torso. They hold up the massive lion’s body. I feel the dragon’s tail in the shadows. Giant eagle wings scrape my eaves and blot out the festivities.

Between its teeth, I see the tiny plastic pumpkin bowl. Its cat eyes just stare.

I lock eyes with it for some time.

“Trick,” I decide.

I mean, how often do you get a chance like this?

Limited Omniscient

He was very nearly already dead when he came to see me. Not at all what I had expected from the High Father: the Great Winged Serpent Who Rules All.

My first glimpse of him was through my specially located peephole. He leaned heavily against his wooden umbrella. He wasn’t dressed in ceremonial garb, rather he wore a light windbreaker and khakis. Picture a Chicano George Burns.

His face was completely hidden behind his own wrinkles. But his smile was patient. It had taken me several minutes to come downstairs in the lift and answer the doorbell in my wheelchair.

I asked who it was as I opened the door. Without a word of greeting, he stabbed at me with an exacto knife– of course he was too weak and only succeeded in falling on me and clumsily knocking us both over, back into my foyer.

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